“If you don’t walk into a room dick first, don’t walk into a conversation . . . dick first.”

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On Wednesday August 12th, Tinder Tales took over The Paddock Tavern for its first sold out show. It was quite possibly, one of our best yet. I know this happens all of the time but it was a pretty good feeling for me, and hopefully, for everyone who got on stage that night.

Bryan Hatt did a fantastic job of hosting the evening (thank you Christina Walkinshaw for the introduction). He taught us that you can’t take a dick pick from a bird’s eye view…and to keep a pepper shaker nearby, because your dick will (probably) look great by comparison.

Steph Davidson shared some of her best Tinder pick up lines. What did we learn from Steph? “If you don’t walk into a room dick first, don’t walk into a conversation…dick first.”

Suzi Marks told us tales of Tindering in Rome and gave us another unforgettable performance of “Please Look at Face” – a parody of The Weeknd’s “I Can’t Feel My Face,” while I tried to explain the meaning of “I Can’t Feel My Face” to several people. I’m not sure if it made more sense before or after the pints. Anyway, video soon to come!

Peter Troyer got on stage for our first Grindr tale. Good thing cats are a deal breaker for Peter or he could be dating a convict. But hey, he would have had all of the prescription drugs he wanted…

Elaine Gold told us about her very first online date and how she broke all of the first date “rules.” Apparently you’re not supposed to get drunk, stoned, or give blow jobs on a first date. Who knew?!

Amish Patel finished off the night by teaching us that there is, in fact, an age cap on arranged marriages. Unfortunately for him, Amish has hit it. Now, only hundreds of women have their pick of Amish’s old ass on Tinder. Sorry Amish.

Follow Bryan on Twitter @BryanHatt to find out where you can see him and his $13 jeans next.

Read more of Steph’s dating stories (while drinking copious amounts of wine) on her blog.

Check out Suzi Mark’s Facebook page and Twitter and watch her first parody in our gallery section.

You can catch Peter at our October show (date TBD)

Elaine will be at Comedy Brawl at Comedy Bar in September (date TBD)

You can see Amish live once again at our September 23rd show or listen to his podcast Looking For Love

If you’ve got a story of your own to share (onstage OR anonymously on the website), want to host a Tinder Tales Live at  your venue, or just need to get in touch, send us an email (we don’t even have to match first)!

Next up, we’re back at Gladstone Hotel on September 23rd. Click here for the line-up and more info.

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