Not getting enough matches? This could be why…

Before every show, I ask my storytellers to provide me with a piece of online dating advice, instant swipe left or right, their personal dating profile etc. In honour of true holiday spirit, I thought I would share some of the “instant swipe lefts” for everyone who may not be reaching full “matches” potential. According to our storytellers, it may be because you have any of these things in your profile:

“The dog-face Snapchat filter.”

“Blurry or no picture.”

“No smiles.”

“Conspicuous sports car photo, no bio.”

“Dudes named Chad.” (sorry Chad(s))

“Bios that are nothing but a tropical fish emoji.”

“Gun range pics.”

“Bathroom mirror selfies.”

“Use of the phrase ‘on fleek’”

“Too many group photos.”

“People with horses. I can barely take care of myself I don’t need someone who pays rent AND stable fees.”

“Wedding photos (theirs).”

“If the bio reads ‘I’m bad at these things, just ask me.’”

“Shirtless men holding dead animals.”

“Marilyn Monroe quotes. In particular, ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’”

“Sedated tiger photos.”

“Gym selfies.”

“If, in their bathroom mirror selfie, there is evidence of embroidered towels or potpourri. It usually means he still lives with his mom.”

Make sure you check out our live show Dec. 13th at Gladstone Hotel and read up next week for instant swipe rights 😉

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